Military veteran! Now NHS professional!

By Anonymous

I don’t even know where to begin and there probably is no right way!!

I have battled mental health most of my life, the last 8 years have been a significant journey with it. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My anxiety peaked when I had the children and I really struggle with things surrounding them especially things I can’t control and when I’m not with them.

I struggle to put into words some of the things I’ve battled over the past few years. I have tried to take my own life twice. In my mind I have just seen myself as a burden to my family and felt like I could provide more for them if I was gone.

It has broken me down to a person I don’t recognise and made me question myself. As a person I feel I will never be good enough for anyone whether that is as a mum, daughter, sister or partner!

I struggle massively with my own confidence on a daily basis and battle my demons. I have struggled significantly over the years and battled death, divorce and homelessness. Yet at the moment I feel very much in limbo and lost, like I have no purpose and that I’m not worth the love my children give me and that they would be better with their dad!

I don’t ever see happiness or love for me in my future I keep going for my children. I don’t honestly know when life will become too much. I would rather face an illness I could fight than live everyday with this!

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