Heartbreak

By Claire

My first serious relationship was great, it lasted 4 years but after him joining uni it went down hill and he wanted freedom. Ending that relationship was the hardest thing i ever did. I suffered what i thought was the biggest heartbreak i would ever go through.

Forward 6 months and there peered my “knight it shining armor”. He took all my pain away, he made me very happy. He looked at me and treated me like angel. So where did it go so wrong that he cheats on me and breaks my heart 10 times over than my previous? How could he be so cruel, the person i trusted and loved dearly? Why do people hurt others?

I wish i could answer these questions because the past 3 days they haven’t stopped. I’ve self harmed, I’ve planned suicide but the pain doesn’t stop. What do i do now? I planned my entire life with this man i trusted. I keep asking what did i do wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough? And the answer is NOTHING and you’re TOO GOOD. He didn’t deserve you and you need to put that time and love on someone who won’t betray me.

I learned a lesson this weekend, and this lesson was a saying I never truly understood until now. If you cant love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else? Don’t let him stop you loving yourself, don’t stop him from carrying on and living your life. He didn’t deserve you or your love.

Love yourself, live like he never came into your life. He lost the best thing he had, he lost a girl who looked at him and saw her world. Go be you for a while, love yourself for a while. Have time to heal but don’t give up, no matter how badly you want to. Keep busy, be with friends. Don’t worry about the ifs, whys, buts. Because worrying doesn’t change what happened. So concentrate on something that deserves your time.

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