By Kelly Gonzalez
Before I was diagnosed with Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, PTSD and OCD, I was the social butterfly of my group. We had people at our house everyday. My calendar was so full of activities you could barely read the dates. My phone rang contently. Invites flooded the mailbox. I couldn’t keep up with the weddings, birthdays, and baby showers.
Then in a simple doctor visit, everything changed. All of a sudden the labels weighed down on me like lead weights. I felt exposed. Everyone could see them. I was being looked at differently. When I spoke out about my illnesses, people started to treat me like a child. I had to be treated like a breakable item.
The invites started to slow, then came to a halt. The phone calls taped off. The company at the house became less and less frequent. The calendar was so empty I started writing in any small appointment to make it look like i still had some sort of life. The mailbox was only full of junk mail and bills. Years past and nothing changed. I began to accept it. It became normal.
Now I’m so used to being alone it has become a huge accomplishment to get someone to hang with me. Stop treating me different because my brain doesn’t work the same as yours.
I still like human companionship. I still like going out and being social. I want friends not more doctors. Don’t look at me different, I don’t look at you any different.
I just want my friends back.